when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
