drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
