I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
