The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
