you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
