Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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