he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
