People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
