Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
