Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
