Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
