Hey man sorry I got all grabby
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
