so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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