How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
this is an emotional support booty call
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
