What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
