maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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