Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
