After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
