She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
