:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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