Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
