I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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