yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
