honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I am available for nakedness
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
