I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
