Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize