New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
