is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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