He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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