Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
