I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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