You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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