If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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