so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Do vagina's smell?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
