The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
