Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
