how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
