are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
