she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
