maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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