i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize