So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
