omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
