you have to choose: penises or morals?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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