There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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