Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
