Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
