words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
