Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
