Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
last night I used snow as a chaser
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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