we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
