Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
