Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
