Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
