I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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