He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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